London Edition

It all started with a 6am wake-up from the trusty iphone jingle. Of course I didn’t pack until an hour before departure. I wouldn’t have recognized myself! Off to the train station to take my first EuroStar voyage. I’ve taken trains on my European vacation but never with border patrol. What a treat! 

UK Border Portal: Step up!

---Reviewing Passsport and Tickets---

UK Border Patrol: Why are you going to London?

Me: To visit the city and meet up with friends for the weekend.

UK Border Patrol: Why have you been in France for so long?

Me: Because I like it and I travel as much as I can.

UK Border Patrol: So then you don’t work? You don’t make money? Who do you live off?

Me:I work and make money. I work remotely for a technology company and so I can live where I want, when I want.

UK Border Patrol: So you are using the UK to extend your stay in France. ” Because you like it”, is not a good enough reason.

Me: I am not using the UK. I have not violated any immigration rules. I’m well within my rights. I’m here for the weekend, as a tourist to blow my money. I can’t imagine the UK has a problem with that.

UK Border Patrol: I don’t trust that you won’t try to stay in London. You are obviously trying to not return to your own country.

Me: I love my country. And if this is any indication of what it’s like on the other side, I can assure you the chances of me even wanting to stay are nil.

UK Border Patrol: I’m putting a mark on your immigration status. And you better leave by Sunday or you are going to have some real problems.

So that was fun! Two more trains and I was at the foot of my hotel. Except it turned out my room was “having electrical issues.” This after waiting in the lobby for an hour. The owner kept me company and tons of advice about my stay. I was asked to stay at a nearby hotel until tomorrow. They were friendly about it so I went happily. The new spot was even more central and had a hot morning breakfast to boot. The next day I return and again my room was not ready. This time it was because the others were not checking out soon enough. The owner say’s,”I’ve booked you a room in the most posh part of town. It will suit you. It’s were all the young people are and all the best restaurants. They owe me a favor. I’ll take you now.” He whisks me off in his Audi A8 and drops me off at a place just as described. Wowzers! What an upgrade! A 300 pounds per night upgrade! It pays to be friendly.

Not Roughing it...

This city is gorgeous! My initial impression was in the burbs and I can say that the first thing I noticed was the amount of over weight seemingly unhealthy people. I say seemingly because I'm no doctor but I hear muffin tops are no bueno for the health. And boy are there muffin tops, and no one trying to hide it. Reminded me a bit of America. Which is normally comforting but this is the type of things America could work on. Second observation, these people are loud! Again, reminder of home but not the part that makes me miss it. Third observation, boy is there a hell of a lot of junk food places: street food and greasy eats. Affirmation of observation number one and again America.

Once I made it into the heart of the city, Piccadilly Circus, Leicester Square things started to change. The architecture is stunning. So romantic, so classy and clean. Sexy curves and carvings. The fire red double decker buses wizzing by and the awesome retro cabs everywhere. Impeccably clean and organized. At night the city is artistically and colorfully lit up as are the bridges. London you are a real stunner! And the city has taken their Olympic duties seriously. There are booths and helpful people all about ready to help out the tourists hailing from all over the globe. Wide-eyed, maps in hand, fanny packs and all. 

I was out with 2 gorgeous Latina ladies and the men have surely noticed. They look out of the very corner of their eyes as if two scared to even lift their heads. It’s pretty cute. The ones inebriated or cocky enough to say something, are usually the ones not smart enough to come up with anything interesting. I’ll report back more as the weekend progresses but so far, British pick-up skills are lacking immensely. They need a weekend with the Italians to even things out.