Ladies! Why must we be so damn mean to each other? Enough with
the dirty looks and cold comments. There is more to life than evacuating the
likes of any neighboring vagina’s with your wicked bitch face. Okay, fine! That
may be a bit harsh. But I’m just saying, the world would be a much happier
place if we could just get along.
I arrived at La Perle this weekend to meet up with my
favorite muse, Jean-Baptist. Just one of those people that has you always engulfed
in conversation and constantly attracting people to the mix. A rare breed and a
delight. I arrived a bit early and him a
bit late which left me with a good half an hour to be a single girl alone at a bar.
I never do this, ever and so it was a culture shock. The men stood by assessing
the situation as I ordered my drink. Surveying and glancing about to see who I
was waiting for. The woman grasped their men tight, grabbed their faces as they
glanced and even forced kisses. They tried burning holes in me with their best mean face. Certainly acquired by much practice in mean girl academy. And even when Jean-Baptist arrived, they’d check him out,
understandably, he’s a very handsome guy, and then would give me the full stare
down to assess the competition. It was like being in the jungle with a pack of
wild beasts. Ugliness ladies!
Which reminds me…I’ve recently had quite a few in depth
conversations about exactly what makes
up the stereotype of the rude Frenchy. Don’t get your panties in a bunch, my
sexy friends. Just here to clarify. Many will say that it is not in fact the
Frenchies but the Parisians. The funny part about that is ask any one and they
will be hard pressed to count up 5 people who are actually born and raised in
Paris. There are hardly any children here but that could be a big city thing, cost of living etc. The studies say birth rates are neck and neck.
So what is it? The general head down, I’m in a rush, don’t
talk to me, fine are you talking to me? Short response for you---thing. I’ve
had friends and family visit and they say the same. It’s the 99% grumpy face.
The no effort in smiles for strangers. Smiles are hard to come by period and
frankly I miss them. I shoot them off like it’s my job and it scares the crap
out of people. As for the women, they look on inquisitively at first and if you keep at it, you
see the corners of their lips raise. You can do it! It’s hard to not smile back
when faced with a dead on ear to ear. And the men, in the land of bitter bitch face, means would you like to practice your vertical tango? Perhaps a reason why most of the woman, expats and all assimilate.
I’ve heard from full on Parisian’s that the idea is that
saying, “Hi, How are you?” or anything beyond the robotic “Bonjour” is perceived
as fakeness. That it is more real to carry on as if you don’t care because you
don’t. And so is it in the water? Don’t you guys come to America and enjoy a
little smile with your morning toast? Aren’t the differences obvious? I get the
realism but as we say “Fake it ‘til you make it.” Once you get past the hello’s
and into friendship the world changes and the people I’ve met here are as
interesting as can be. Well educated, well traveled, inspiring, the works.
Now back to woman and woman on woman crime. This is a global
phenomenon. NO exceptions found so far. I surmise that it is a general lack of
confidence that makes us this way. Why else fear the “competition” if you have your
ducks in order. So what has to change? Let’s all start with fake smiles!
Reminded of Oscar Wilde:
"Women are meant to be loved, not understood."
Reminded of a little Lana Del Rey:
"This is what makes us girls
We all look for heaven and we put love first
Something that we'd die for
It's our curse.
Don't cry about it"
And how about some Shakespeare:
“The venom clamors of a jealous woman poison more deadly than a mad dog's tooth"
Whenever confronted with Woman on Woman crime, I like to envision Damon Wayans and David Alan Grier giving the Zorro Snap: Feel free to fast forward to minute 2:40.
Or two snaps up in a circle: Minute 2:44
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